Mar 30, 2009

Our Journey

Mark and I met 5 years ago online. We were married Sept 25, 2004. We knew we would need some "getting to know you time" before starting our family. Our plan: wait 2 years. Before making it to our 2nd anniversary we decided to start "trying." We never realized trying would really take that much effort! I found out about 3 years ago that I have PCOS. So we knew that might give us some trouble. After 2 years of prayer, hard work, church women asking "when are you going to finally have a baby?" or the extra sensitive "do you even want kids?" we opened up to some options.


May 2008-We finally decided to see the doctor and find out if Mark was contributing to our problems. After a lot of...hmm...interesting (to say the least) tests for both of us, they found we both had fertility issues. Talk about disappointment!


June 2008- To the fertility clinic we went. They wanted to run more tests on me. Blood tests, HSG, patience, just to name a few. The testing was all terrible. Especially testing my patience!


July 2008-Went in to the hospital alone for my HSG. After waiting 3 hours, they were unable to get the catheter thru my cervix. Had to delay for another month (it usually happens like cycle day 10 ).


Aug. 2008-After my brutal evening before my 2nd HSG appt and the day at the hospital for the procedure, I was angry. I felt they didn't give me the info I needed for my safety and what I would really go through physically.


Sept. 2008- They ended up putting me on birth control. At this point, I had lost all faith in them. Our path (that they were planning) seemed to be headed to either In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) or Itrauterine Insemination (IUI). Either way, I knew I needed to be able to trust my Doctor.

After prayer and careful consideration, Mark and I decided to take a break. I couldn't handle much more. The disappointment of infertility is a lot to handle and on top of that the further disappointment in my health care provider was torture! I did take the birth control they prescribed.


Sept 16th-The day before my sister/best friend Cassie's birthday (and her husband Jason's as well) we found out she is pregnant! What a great surprise. Talk about a day of hope! She had been trying to conceive for about 1.5-2 years herself.


Oct. 2008- Mark and I were called into the Nursery at church. We would work with children ages 18 months-3yrs old. Talk about shocked. How could it be us? Our answer was yes but we put in a stipulation. We did not want to have any hard feeling towards the kids or parents due to our lack of fertility. If we started to get the blues or feelings of resentment, we would ask to be released.


Nov. 2008- Lost my job and insurance, which made that my last month on birth control. Will Thanksgiving ever come? I needed to find something to be thankful for!


Dec. 2008-I felt as though there is someone waiting on me. I was prompted to think about how Heavenly Father answers me best. When I look for things, he always helps me open my eyes wider, and look better than before to find whatever I'm looking for. As silly as this seemed, I finally asked Him to help me look in the right places. Maybe I needed to find a birth mother, maybe I needed to adopt another dog (mine is my baby)...whatever His plan, I was on board. So in prayer, I pleaded with the Lord to help me find my baby. Whichever direction I needed to look, if he would guide my eyes, I would keep them open, along with my heart.


Feb 3rd-Terrible acid reflux acting up, add in my weird uterus cramps during the past few nights and I decided to take a pregnancy test. When I pulled them out from under the sink, they were expired, 6 months expired! So I did what any other hopeful girl would do...I took the test. After the shock of seeing the test turn positive. I took it out and showed Mark. I first told him about the expiration and he was not going to believe it. So we said a brief prayer thanking Heavenly Father for the thought of being pregnant. Just a little positive ray of sunshine to the past few negative months. We had the hardest time sleeping that night. At least I did. I finally got out of bed at 4:15am. I had to potty. So off I went and I noticed the other expired pregnancy test. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to take it too. It was garbage either way! It was also positive. After that, I really couldn't sleep! I got on the computer and starting looking up false positives for expired tests. And started to see where we might be setting ourselves up for disappointment.


Feb 4th- After finally falling back to sleep at 7:15am, I woke up at 8, got ready for the shop, stopped at Walgreens to pick up a few tests and off I went. After 3 positives, I showed Mark. He said "I still don't believe it, call the Dr." While speaking with them and telling them I took 5 tests, all positive and we want them to test me. They said "Ms. Gentle, if you took 5 tests, you're pregnant!" What a day. Mark and I were so grateful and shocked and speechless. We called his Grandma first to let her know the wonderful knews, then we slowly started calling the rest of the family. It was a day so full of emotion and hope. Mark brought home a book and a baby rocker outfit for our baby. It was starting to sink in that we're pregnant!


Mar 11th- A sweet friend offered to let us get a sonogram for free! Officially, the best day of our lives. We saw a heart beating and little arms going in and out of its mouth. The baby was officially 10 weeks and 2 days. It was certainly a miracle! When leaving, Mark and I had a chance to talk about our feelings. Mark let me know he saw way more than a baby on the monitor that day. He told me with tears in his eyes that he saw our future of training wheels and hugs and kisses and family pictures and campouts and driving tests and proms. We held hands and cried as we drove back to Mark's shop.


Mar 30th-We had our first OB appointment today. I'm 13 weeks and getting ready to end my first trimester. We lovingly refer to Mark's nose as his "Sam Eagle." We had an ultra sound and it looks like our baby could possibly have a "Sam Eagle" of it's own! :) I would post pictures but you really can't see anything in these pictures we got.

So here we are with no insurance, I don't have a job, and we're thrilled to have a baby coming our way due to be here Oct 6th. Can't wait to share more moments of sentiment with you!

6 comments:

Nathan said...

I know it has been a struggle for you guys and I couldn't be happier for this blessing to come to you. I know that I don't always know why things happen the way they happen but Heavenly Father has blessed you and I pray that he will continue to poor his blessings upon you. We love you!

Katheryn said...

I know Nathan left a comment, but I had to comment too. Thank you so much for sharing the story of your stuggle and the joy you are now experiencing. It made me cry! Like Nathan said, we love you and we are so happy for you!

Deanna said...

I am so happy to be one (among so many) that gets to share in this long awaited miracle with y'all! This is one lucky kid (sam eagle and all!) to have a mommy and a daddy that are so, so, so excited to love and welcome him/her to their family! We love you! Yay for baby Gentle! (oh, and I made a recommendation for your blog title... though I like the one you've chosen)

Jessica Chalmers said...

So sweet!

Amy Jo said...

Casey when I read your blog I literally cried. You guys are so great. You deserve a little buddle of joy. I'm so excited for you two. I know you're going to make the best parents. If you need any outfit advice I'm your girl. Or, I can be your personal shopper! LOL
Love you both!!!

lorijolley said...

What a great post! I love the new blog name. What do they say....Great things come to those who wait. Yours should be incredible! You both deserve it.