Close enough I Can Almost Smell the Dirty Diapers

...that's how close He feels!

I have to say, getting pregnant was misery. Wait, let me rephrase that...I loved the practicing part- that part was fun! The emotions of not being pregnant for 3 years, month after month, having people ask if we even wanted children and going through the fertility process. After finding out we both had fertility problems and we kept getting jerked around, we finally quit because it was far too stressful. Then with losing my job and my insurance I was running low on everything, especially hope!

I had 3 experiences last year that led me to believe a baby was close. I was exercising like no one's business (except maybe a personal trainer) last year in my zumba class and was overcome with emotion. I knew what I was doing wasn't just for me, it was for the little spirit waiting for me to be ready for him. I couldn't believe I was crying in zumba. I couldn't even blame it on my eyes sweating. I had to walk out. Then I tried a spinning class. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. While spinning (not just the bike class, also my head) I wanted to quit so badly but as I was pushing along, I saw a face. A baby's face appeared as if it was there to cheer me on and finish the class. Then towards the end of December I finally started thinking about how Heavenly Father best answers my prayers. No matter what, if I need help finding something He ALWAYS helps me. So I decided to give it a try. I asked that He help me find my baby, regardless of where or how. I pleaded with Him to help me open my eyes, so I wouldn't miss any opportunities. Whether He direct me to a birth mother or a surrogate mother- I would accept His will with gratitude in my heart.

At that point, I knew I did all I could. I spoke to a very close friend and told her how I felt like there was a little boy close by, but I didn't know exactly what "close" was going to mean.

Well...my eyes were opened. As always, HF helped me find what I've been looking for. I have been so fortunate to have a smooth pregnancy. I've been blessed beyond measure. After trying for 3 years, the last 9 months have passed quickly. I've got my bag packed, I just need a few things to put in his bag and a few more things for him at home. I've got so much support and love pouring out from all over. I'm one grateful soon-to-be-Mommy. With a full heart and an always full bladder, I'm officially close! I really feel like I can smell the dirty diapers coming my way. I can't wait.

So, when will the little guy be here? Tomorrow I go in for an ultra sound, they will measure him and we will see if he's head down. If he's still breech, we will schedule a c-section. On the day of the c-section, they will do one more ultra sound to check him again. If he's turned at that point, they will send me home. Either way, we'll have a baby in the next 3 weeks. It feels SO good to be this kind of "CLOSE."